Son Has Gambling Problem
Last updated: 10/25/2018
Author: Addictions.com Medical Review
Reading Time: 4minutes
I feel like my dad has at least admitted he has a problem and is seeking help. On the other hand, my mom seems to be unwilling to be honest with herself or me. She went gambling with my dad A LOT, and she played along with a series of lies they told me for years and years, including about financial matters that directly impact me (since they. Therefore, it might indeed have a role along with other measures suggested by the gambling addiction organisations. Hypnosis may work very very short term, but addiction is a long term problem. The thing with hypnosis it is someone else taking the problem on for him, instead if HIM taking his own problem on. A gambling addiction - or compulsive gambling - is an illness that has no cure. If your husband can't control himself when it comes to betting, knowing how to handle his addiction can make the difference between helping him to arrest his illness and feeding his compulsion.
Compulsive gambling is often referred to as a “silent killer” simply because an addiction to gambling does not always readily stand out. The signs of gambling addiction are often overlooked as something else such as a desire to play games, an urge to win money or anything but a compulsive disorder that is out of control. Often times, the desire to gamble is so strong and the addiction is so serious that severe personal and social consequences, even death, can result.
It may be difficult to recognize the signs of gambling addiction for one reason or another. According to the US National Library of Medicine, chronic gamblers often lead seemingly normal lives but in the background, there is a serious problem at hand. Eventually, the addiction will cause destructive outcomes and there will be no mistaking the signs of gambling addiction; at that point, the biggest concern will be where to find help.
Here are some warning signs that your teenage son may have a gambling problem: Withdrawing from friends or family Suddenly taken up with a new social group New gambling lingo creeping into his vernacular (words like ‘bookie’ or ‘point spread’). An article on governing.com (States have a gambling problem: Young people) woke me up to the fact that my children (and everyone else’s) are actively being targeted and studied, to make gambling more “appealing” to them than it is, in the forms most of us recognize it.
1. Obsession with Gambling
Stealing in order to gamble is a sign of addiction.
One of the most common signs of gambling addiction is the obsession that comes with it. Gambling addicts are obsessed with gambling and may be preoccupied with gambling to a point in which they don’t care about anything else. Compulsive thoughts about gambling or gambling obsessively to a point in which it causes other problems in your life are just a few of the common signs of gambling addiction.
2. Unable to Stop Gambling
Have you tried to quit gambling, made an honest commitment to quit and failed? If you are unable to stop gambling despite your desire to do so, you could be a gambling addict. The inability to quit even when you want to is one of many signs of gambling addiction that most addicts tend to immediately overlook or write off as something else.
3. Gambling Despite Consequences
Has gambling caused problems in your life such as financial difficulties, loss of a job or relationship problems? Many addicts and their loved ones tend to overlook even the most prominent signs of gambling addiction such as those which are present when excessive gambling is causing consequences in life and yet the individual continues to gamble anyway.
4. Psychological Withdrawal when NOT Gambling
Sometimes, the signs of gambling addiction are very similar to the signs of other addictions such as a drug or alcohol addiction. Psychologically, when a gambling addict is not gambling, he or she may be irritable, depressed or restless. These are all signs of emotional withdrawal which results when an addict is obsessed with gambling and has a perceived “need” to gamble in order to be happy.
5. Gambling to Improve Happiness
Do you or does someone you know seemingly gamble in order to be happy or have fun? If gambling is a necessary component of your happiness or elevated mood, there’s a good chance that gambling addiction is to blame. This is one of many commonly overlooked signs of gambling addiction that both addicts and those who are close to them tend to mistake for some other problem. Gambling to mask problems, feel happy or otherwise improve your emotions is a sure sign that there is a bigger problem at hand.
6. Stealing or Otherwise Breaking the Law to Gamble
An addict will often break the law in order to have the money that they need to gamble or to recover their losses. Stealing, committing fraud or otherwise breaking the law to fuel the habit are all signs of gambling addiction that should not be overlooked and which could lead to greater consequences including jail time or probation.
7. Denying that there is a Problem
Denial is a common sign of addiction and to state that there is not a problem when there really is happens to be common ground amongst addicts. If you suspect that a loved one has a gambling problem and you have hard evidence to back it up yet he or she continues to deny the problem, it could be time to seek professional help.
8. Financial Problems
One of the most prevalent signs of gambling addiction is financial problems that result from the compulsive gambling disorder. A friend may all off a sudden have problems with his or her personal finances or they may ask to borrow money often. Compulsive gamblers depend on others to provide them with money either to gamble or to pay expenses because they lost their money gambling.
9. Mood Swings
Compulsive gambling, especially when the gambling takes place as part of a double life in which friends and family are unaware, can lead to excessive mood swings. Mood swings are often overlooked or mistaken for upset that is not the result of the addiction but most often, mood swings are one of the signs of gambling addiction that should be spotted early on.
10. Hiding Gambling Behavior
As compulsive gambling progresses, and the addict comes under scrutiny from his or her friends or family members, it is not uncommon for the addict to begin hiding gambling behaviors. Hiding the behavior is one of the more common signs of gambling addiction and also one that’s really hard for outsiders to spot because they don’t know what’s going on—but for the addict, recognizing that it’s wrong to hide behaviors from loved ones is a step in the right direction when it comes to finding help for a compulsive gambling disorder.
I am so worried about my son. He has had a gambling problem (sports betting) for approx. 6 years now. He is in his early 20's. He never has any money. He has a good paying job, but looses most of what he makes gambling. He really is such a good person, and this addiction that is destroying him is breaking my heart!
He called tonight and told me he had gambled again, and lost. He did not tell me how much. He has been loosing around $1,000 each time he gambles and looses. He indicated it was around this amount. For the first time he said he has decided to never gamble again. In the past he has said he has confidence he can get this under control. He was very upset, as he always is when this happens. I know he means it when he says he has decided to never gamble again, but I am so afraid he will not be able to. He has gotten an extension on his car payment, delaying his payment for a month. I am afraid the day may come that he looses his car, and consequently, his job. He is so young to have such a TERRIBLE addiction! But then, I suppose age has nothing to do with addictions.
Do any of you have any advice on how I can help him follow through on his desire to stop gambling? I want to help, but do not know what to do next. In the past I have suggested Gam. Anonymous. He has said he would go if I want him to. I have told him he needs to go if HE wants to. Maybe this time he will go. Does it really help? He is a very proud young man, and a kind, caring person who wants to do well in life. He worries so much about others; he really needs to take care of himself first.
I know I am probably rambling on here. I am so at a loss as to what to do. It hurts so bad; I am so afraid for him. Concentrating on my daily responsibilities is very hard. At times I think of resigning from my teaching position at a local community college, and just isolating myself from the world. A terrible thought, I know, and of course I could not give up and do such a thing---but at times one feels like it. I feel for all of you who have this terrible addiction. I admire all who have found the way and the strength to overcome it.
Please, if any of you have any advise as to how I can help my son, I would be thankful.
I have the book, 'Don't Leave It to Chance, A Guide for Families of Problem Gamblers', by Edward J. Federman, Charles E. Drebing, and Christopher Krebs. It is a good book. I have not read all of it though. I also have the book, 'Love First' by Jeff and Debra Jay. It is a book on alcoholism and drug addiction. However, it was recommend to me for gambling addiction. It is a book on intervention help. Perhaps I will spend the week end reading these two books, and will have a better idea on how to help my son.
Thank you for this forum that I have found tonight.
Jane, Friday January 28, 2005
04:51 AM EST
Hi Jane and welcome! I can relate to your son putting off the car payment because I am digging out of this hole right now. Your son is very blessed to have a parent who wants to help. It sounds like you are doing your homework about this disease. GA although I haven't been to that particular 12 step meetings is a good place for your son to learn he is not alone and to find support from other gamblers who are one day at a time trying to stay away from gambling
You are right this disease does not care how old you are and it comes in all shapes and sizes. He cannot beat this thing by himself. It is good that he can talk to you about it. This site has helped me so much in the past week. My last gamble was last Saturday and one day at a time, I have not gambled this week. Each day is a miracle.
Your son will need to make the move toward recovery by asking for help. He will need help from someone who has been there and knows exactly how to help him. Family unfortunately is not enough, love is not enough, this disease needs a dose of reality right between the eyes.
You may want to show your son this site and see if he can introduce himself and get to know more about recovery from gambling. The first step is the hardest. The rest is just plain old fashioned hard work!!
crazylady
Hello, and thank you for your reply.
I have talked to my son tonight (he lives 85 miles away). He is positive, and determined to beat this. I do not know what steps he is going to take to help himself. He works long shifts every other week, and I will not be able to talk to him long for a few days. I will mention this site to him, and hope he will join in the discussions here. It looks like a great support group.
I do not know if he will be attending GA meetings. I will suggest it to him. I do believe it would help alot for him to have someone to talk to that has been through this. He has the book, 'Don't Leave It to Chance,' and has read some of it. I believe it is a good book, and may help if he would read it.
I have two questions I would like to ask:
Have any of you read the book 'Comped' by Bill Kearney? If so, did you find it helpful? Have you read the book '7 Steps to Overcoming Gambling Addiction for Life'?
Also, on this web site in the 'financial service' section, there is a program to help with financial problems. Have any of you tried this, and did you find it helpful? I am thinking that debt consolidation might help. I believe, though, that any one considering debt consolidation should cut up all credit cards first, and do NOT get any more.
I thank you for your time.
I am glad I found this site. I am wondering if it is for the gambling addicted person only. You have made me feel welcome, though.
Thank you again, and good luck to all of you!!
hello Jane,
Keep supporting him no matter what. Do not ever bail him out or give him any money to get by on.. that will just make it worse for him and harder to stop gambling. He has to be accountable to someone, he must put himself on an allowance and turn everything else over to someone else he can trust to hold on to his money and help him pay his bills. He has to be willing to stop gambling and work a recovery that will help keep him away from this addiction.. Meetings, calling other cgs for support, groups like this.. He is so young to be a cg. help him now.. Find out all you can about this disease and follow thru with getting him help.. too many young people are addicted to gambling and many end up wanting to commit suicide because of the depression.. Stay in touch with him everyday, several times a day if you have too.. I do wish the best for you and your son. I have three grown kids, Its so hard on us when they suffer with an addiction.. stay strong and never give up. Hugs Audrey
Son Has Gambling Problem Solving
Hi Jane, what a wonderful mum he has, I hope he comes to realise that before he uses you, because if he continues he will grind (let me correct myself, his addiction will) grind you to the ground.
Like a drug addict in desperation for a fix, we are no different; it is all about the similarities. I started my addiction by being introduced to machines my mother. She to this day is an addict but will never admit it. Yet she watched my life go down the drain and she is still going.
I have helped myself and she hasn't. Your young fella needs to help himself Jane. How does not matter as much as when he decides to stop. Anytime is a good time and ask him to make himself a promise not to gamble today, before dinner etc if he needs to break it down. Let the future come to him and take it a bit at a time.
I have not gambled for 27 odd months now and it has been a day at a time. Sure tough sometimes but that is why I keep busy on places like this. Or my own blog (online diary) Ask him to go have a good read of mine called Lost Wallets and other lies here
We do not know each other but I will guarantee you he will relate to it. I suggest every gambler on earth get one of these. It is very liberating, can be private or for the world to see, can include anything form thoughts, confessions to funny stories etc but the thing it does best Jane is lift a huge wait off your shoulders. This also helps if he is reluctant to go to GA or group sessions. I see someone once a month these days one on one.
Let us know how you go, email me anytime
Take care
Rob
Hello to all of you,
Gambling Problem Treatment
Thank you all so much for being there. I am so glad I found this site. Thank you crazylady, audrey, and rob for your replies. You all have been such a help, and a comfort. I worry that I am in contact with my son too often. We usually talk at least once a day. He is a wonderful son, and it is so hard to see him being torn up by this terrible addiction. Yes Audrey, it is hard on us when our children suffer an addiction. I try to be strong and not let his addiction 'grind me to the ground', but to be honest with you, at times it does. Some nights I lie awake all night, tossing and turning, crying and shaking. This is the other side of addiction. But I know I have to try to stay strong, not just for myself, but for all of my family. (I, too, have three grown kids.) My husband seems to handle it all much easier, but inside I know he is hurting.
Rob, I do not know you, nor any one else here, but I am proud of you and the others that have stopped gambling. Wow, 27 months! Be proud of yourself. I can not understand this addiction from the side of an addict, but I can understand it from my side: having watched what my son has gone through for the last 5-6 years,(slowly getting worse) and from having read about this disease. Actually, I once worked in a casino. I saw people come into the casino with their monthly social security checks, gamble it away, and have nothing to live on for the rest of the month.
'One day at a time' seems like a very good way to approach this. And, Rob, your blog will be a big help, I am sure! Thank you for sharing this!!
I talked to my son tonight, and he said he is as strong now in his conviction to stop as he was three days ago when he decided to stop gambling. He does not want to go to GA, I know he will need help somewhere---I will give him this site, the blog, and other info I have. He will have to want to help himself. I know he wants to, it just seems so hard from what I know of this addiction. Meeting all of you, and seeing that you are strong and on the road to recovery is encouraging. The gamblock is a good thing to know about. One of the problems is we live in the state of Nevada---yep, gambling is everywhere. He likes to do sports betting, and he is afraid he will not enjoy sports as much. I guess that when you are recovering from this addiction you have to learn to live your life over, in a sense.
I am sorry for going on for so long. I have one more thing: I have, in the past loaned my son money. (Alot) As have others. I now know that was wrong. This is one of the ways this addiction affects others; you hurt because the person has lost this money, you love him, and want to help, you think that you will loan the money, the situation will be resolved, everyone will feel better, and maybe, just maybe, this will be the time that he will see what he is doing and be able to stop. Of course, by giving the money we only enable them to continue with the gambling. You love this person, and this is hard to see, but it is important to know.
Thank you all.............
jane